The Reason Why Children Don't Dare To Speak In Public

There is such a kind of child in life, who may be a "little talker" at home, but stage fright when there are too many people, like a "mimosa". Even the encouragement of parents can't change the status quo in the slightest. When I was young, I was excusable, maybe too young, but when I grew up, it was the same, my parents really couldn't sit still.

Marcus is such a child, completely different from his elder brother Pablo. Marcus is a very talkative child at home. As long as there is more than one person, Marcus will have a "disordered " language function.

This act of not being able to speak up really annoys me. I especially hope that Marcus can dare to express himself in front of everyone like Pablo, so I urgently need to find the problem.

Why Do Children Dare Not Express Themselves When There Are Too Many People?

Children are always shy when there are many people. Parents want to find the answer, to find out what is the cause of the child's personality?

Reason 1: Genetics

According to scientific research, many children dare not express themselves because of genetic factors. Parents may not believe it, how can it be inherited? In fact, it is easy to be shy, and many people dare not speak, which is directly related to personality.

And parents are easy to be shy, the probability of children will being shy according to statistics can be as high as 70%. The introverted and shy character dominates our behavior, so children will appear too many people dare not express the phenomenon.

Reason 2: Family Education

From birth to growth, the most familiar environment for children is family. The atmosphere, environment, and education of a home that has been made a "safe haven" by people will affect children. This is the origin of the "original ecological family". If the family atmosphere is not harmonious, and the parenting education is wrong, it will lead to many children who dare not speak and are shy.

For example, parents always habitually say one thing, very strongly, and some parents always let their children accept blame and complain. Beating and yelling are common and can affect children.

Reason 3: External Pressure

When there are too many children, they dare not open their mouths, and it is also related to the environment they come into contact with. Living in a fixed and familiar family and familiar environment for a long time will cause various discomforts in the unfamiliar external environment, and will not know how to speak.

What Are The Wrong Methods Used By Parents For Children Who Are Afraid To Speak?

When the child is too crowded to speak, the parents realize that this is a problem. Using the wrong method will not solve the problem. Look at the methods that we have used the wrong way.

Mistake 1: Forcing Children To Change

When the child is too crowded to speak, the parents will be very anxious. So I forced my children to change, and I often heard parents say: "Say hello to Auntie, or we won't be going anywhere today."

"Speak, you speak"... This kind of compulsion can only deepen the child's fear of strangers and unfamiliar environments, but it is more difficult to change.

Mistake 2: Directly Define The Conclusion

Many children are afraid to talk to others, and some parents don’t even ask, but directly resolve for their children and put various labels on their children. It’s not that the child has a bad personality, or that they are anxious to say that the child is not promising… anxious to define it. Simply ignore your child's inner feelings, and in the end, it is very likely that the child will become what you think it is.

Mistake 3: Comparative Response

"Why can't you say a word, look at other people's XXX", "Your brother has spoken, you are not as good as your brother", this kind of comparative response is also often used by many parents. From the parents' point of view, this is a kind of aggressive method, which may improve the inner motivation of the child. But this is wrong and will only make the child more disgusted.

Recommended Tips To Solve The Problem That Children Do Not Speak Too Much

Many children are reluctant to speak and are too shy. To avoid the wrong way of coping, parents can try to use the following coup, children can really change.

Recommendation 1. Give More Choice To Children

When children encounter many people, they dare not say hello, and parents should not force them. If your child doesn't want to talk, don't force it. Analyzing the reasons, finding the problem, and guiding it is the correct way to solve it.

Give your children more choices in life and let them be assertive people. In the selection process, the child's thinking ability and self-confidence will be improved, which can essentially solve the problem that many children do not speak about.

Recommendation 2. Develop Children's Social Skills

In the process of contact, teach children some social skills. Encourage them to make friends and let your child know that greeting starts with saying hello, hello! Nice to meet you etc. With good social skills, children will not be afraid of crowds and will cope with them comfortably.

Recommendation 3. The Choice Of Education Method Should Be Appropriate

When parents help their children, they should teach students according to their aptitude. Children with different personalities have different education methods. Introverted, parents need more encouragement and patience, don't rush for success.

For some extroverted children, it may be better if their parents reward them or communicate with them more. Always choose the right way, the child will benefit. You can learn from other people's methods, but it must be suitable for children.

Recommendation 4. Enrich Children's Social Activities

In life, enrich children's social interaction. When children are young, children cannot make friends, and the narrow circle of life makes it easy for children to become introverted and afraid to express themselves.

From a young age, I enriched the lives of children, taking them to different things, reading parent-child reading, and going outdoors to contact nature. Participate in more charity activities, community activities, etc. Improve their life experience and help them have good adaptability.

Conclusion 

To solve the problem that many children dare not speak, parents should not use the wrong method. Find out why the child is afraid to speak, and analyze the child's psychology. Give your child more opportunities to get in touch with the external environment and enrich your child's life.

It is most effective to improve some basic social skills, treat children with different personalities differently, and help children inappropriate ways.

Share :