When Children Often Say These Three Sentences Parents Must Be Vigilant

Parents should be alert to their children's help signals. When children often say these three sentences, they should reflect.

When a child grows up to a certain age, as a parent, he must have the same understanding, that is, the child gradually has his own thoughts but does not listen to the parent's advice.

At this time, parents always feel that they have not yet reached puberty, but why do they become so ill-behaved? When they talk to their children, the children rarely participate.

As the saying goes, when a stone is thrown into the water, it makes a sound, but the child is silent.

When the content of the conversation is tense, the child will just evade and say: You don't understand me, what's the use of saying it.

In fact, escaping doesn't solve any problems, but the child doesn't know it.

Children in childhood have to tell their family no matter how small things are, but nowadays children are really silent as they grow up, it seems that the world doesn't understand them.

Some words have even become common words for children.

It's like forget it, you don't understand, you don't want to hear it, it's because of you...

In fact, this phenomenon is very normal at this stage, because the child's doubts cannot be resolved, and the emotions that cannot be expressed all year round cannot be resolved, which leads to such a situation of refusing to communicate.

1. When children often say such things, parents should also pay attention and reflect on whether they have neglected to care for their children

"Okay, okay, you're right." 

"Yes, yes, it's all because of me." 

"Forget it, it's my own reason, no one will agree anyway."

Why do children of this age always say such very negative things?

I also had this period when I was a child, and I used the word "anyway" very frequently.

Because I long for my parents to agree to something, I am very uneasy in my heart, and often use irony to tell what I want to do. Maybe the only way to be rejected will not be so uncomfortable.

This is what people often say nowadays to reduce expectations, and it is exactly the same if the heart is not moving, there is no pain.

We often disagree, and what we think in our hearts turns into hurtful words when we say them. This method seems to have become a way to protect ourselves.

But in fact, most of these children are not really rebellious, but a signal to the outside world for help.

At this critical period, I hope that adults can pay attention to it, because once the child continues to be ignored, with the evolution of time, the child may really become a rebellious child and no longer care about feelings.

From a professional point of view, the human brain will subconsciously pull us away from those who try to hurt us, so as to achieve a protective effect, but the separation of children makes parents feel that their children have become rebellious.

But how to fundamentally break this closed-loop?

In fact, it is not difficult to do it. Parents should meet the real needs of their children, and they can clearly understand their children's needs by listening.

Because behind the irony often hides the real needs of people.

In fact, people are really contradictory, because there is no way to directly express their inner thoughts, so irony appears, but irony can easily lead to misunderstanding by others. This is the art of speaking.

When you truly understand your child's needs, remember not to continue to ignore them, but to treat your child with a serious and positive attitude.

Children can really feel everything, can feel whether they are being perfunctory or being taken seriously, so take it seriously, and respect the child's ideas, saying that they will try their best to satisfy.

After we have finished speaking or chatting in our free time, we can say to the child: it was the parents who ignored your real expectations before, and the parents will listen to you carefully next time, but you should also listen to your parents more.

It is to meet the real needs of the child as much as possible, but it is all based on the premise of reasonable needs, not to say that it should be satisfied all at once.

Children at this age can understand the truth. As long as we treat them as adults and communicate equally and analyze the real pros and cons, children who are persuasive enough will not make trouble without reason.

After all, when a child proposes an idea, he has already accepted the result that he may be rejected.

When I was a child, I was rejected by my parents countless times, and I was angry for it countless times. Now I can't tell my parents anything. This may be because I was not convinced by the rejection at that time.

One summer, my daughter who had eaten 2 ice creams still cried and shouted to continue eating, but at that time I didn’t have enough patience to analyze the disadvantages of eating too much ice cream for my daughter, I just refused, because at that time I felt that I already understand something.

Until one day my daughter was about to speak but suddenly stopped, and finally, she had the final say.

At this time, I felt very bad inside, and I began to reflect on what my actions had brought to the children.

At this time, I hugged her and told her about the disadvantages of eating too many sweets, and told her that if she thinks that hot mother can pour her ice water or provide her with other things, she will try her best to meet other reasonable requests except ice cream.

After that, my daughter no longer hides her thoughts. Even if I sometimes refuse unreasonable requests, I don't just refuse like before without giving reasons.

2. I Have Met A Mother And Son Who Is The Opposite Of The Above

Children habitually push mistakes to others, but this kind of thing is one willing to fight and one willing to suffer because whenever the child complains, the mother will take advantage of the situation to respond that it is the mother's fault, which will only make the child worse.

This is very common, but it makes the child more self-centered, thinking that the whole world is at fault but himself, and blaming everyone else for his misfortune.

With the development of society, most of today's children have grown up with golden keys. Parents cannot beat or scold them. Blindly pampering children will only lead to children becoming more defiant, unable to listen to any good advice, and unable to withstand any setbacks.

Such children lack responsibility and a sense of right and wrong.

How to pull the child out of the quagmire?

That is to reduce the protection of children, let them experience as much as possible under the premise of safety, and don't worry about their setbacks.

Let children take their due responsibilities, rather than blindly handing them over to adults.

Only by letting children clearly understand their responsibilities will they not feel that everything is for granted.

Parents should dare to let go. When faced with mistakes that have already occurred, parents should carefully analyze for their children, why the mistakes occurred, who should be responsible, how to solve them, and how to avoid them next time.

3. Children Are Also Insecure, And The Source Of Their Security Is Similar To That Of Adults, That Is, Repeated Confirmation

Frightening and threatening is a terrible thing in front of children, so if you can speak well, don't rely on frightening, because you are afraid that you will not get a response, and the love will disappear over time.

As adults, we should be mature in solving problems. When faced with questions from children about whether they love us, we should respond loudly and affirmatively. Don’t be stingy in expressing love, and don’t deal with problems with your children according to your own mood.

Be loud and affirmative in a positive response, don't be stingy in expressing love, and don't handle issues with your child according to your own mood.

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