What Happens To Children Who Have Lacked Love Since They Were Little?

A netizen once asked: "What are the characteristics of girls who have lacked love since childhood?"

A psychologist replied: "Highly contrasting personalities, tendency to please others, always put others first, finds it difficult to accept gifts from others, content with emotional values, worries about gain and loss, insecure, emotional, easily satisfied."

Parents Loving Their Children Is Instinct And How To Love Is Wisdom

Some parents said: “Nowadays when parents are exhausted, they work hard to give their children a better life. What food, clothing, and clothing do not match the abilities of the parents? Where will there be a lack of affection? ? Children who lack love are hypocrites, I made them myself!"

Some parents have a different view: Love is not only material satisfaction but also spiritual care. If you neglect the mental health of a child, nothing material can grow a child with a healthy personality.

Yes, love is the inner driving force for everyone to move forward. Without it, you will get lost and stop. Every child has a high need for nurturing, mentoring, and parental responses as they grow up.

A child who is positive, optimistic, and enthusiastic must be a child who does not lack love. As she grows up, she can be more confident and brave to face the challenges of study, career, love, and other aspects.

Conversely, if a child's emotional needs are not met for a long time, it will cause irreparable trauma for life. Will have a negative impact on mental health in the future, personality development, interpersonal communication, etc. They will also lack self-confidence, be afraid to do something, and have no sense of security.

Many parents do not understand why they are still dissatisfied. Fall into the quagmire of lack of love after they have spent all their efforts in raising their children.

In fact, there is no parent in this world who does not love their child. It is the instinct of every parent to love their child. However, how to properly express love and let a child truly feel love requires a certain amount of wisdom.

What Will Happen To Those Children Who Lack Love When They Grow Up?

I wonder if you've heard of the famous "rhesus monkey experiment"?

In 1959, American psychologist Henry Harlow separated newborn monkeys from monkey mothers to prove that "a mother is a mother with milk" or "a mother with love", and the other two "mother monkeys"—— A "wire mother" made of iron wire and the "mother of cloth" made of cloth lived for 165 days.

Both the wire mother and the cloth mother have feeding bottles from which the baby monkeys can get their milk. However, the researchers found that the little monkeys preferred milk from the mother cloth.

The monkeys usually spend more time with the mother's cloth. When faced with dangerous things, they do not hesitate to hide in the arms of the mother cloth. Then the researchers took a milk bottle hanging from the mother cloth. The little monkey still wants to hug the cloth mother and keep its head away from the wire mother to drink milk.

After repeated observations, Henry Harlow finally concluded that the comfort of contact may be more "attractive" to puppies than nursing. That is, love and intimacy are as strong as and sometimes beyond material needs such as hunger and thirst.

So, what do children who lack love do when they grow up? To be honest, some features can't be hidden.

1. Worry About Profit And Loss

Wants to have, but is afraid of losing, can't really trust and rely on others, unable to love. Want others to be nice to you, but when others are nice to you, you suspect that the other person is not being sincere. You subconsciously think that no one really cares about you. Harvest true joy and happiness.

2. Go Alone

Social fear dislikes communicating with people, always being alone, seems very out of place. Because I didn't get my parents' care and attention when I was little, I often felt that I was being neglected.

When I grow up, I will be transparent, insecure, thinking that I am discarded or even unworthy of love. Feeling unseen pressure, easily nervous and anxious, and gradually become timid, withdrawn, and do not have a normal social circle.

3. Inferiority And Sensitivity

When I was little, my parents rarely reprimanded me, either criticizing or scolding me. I was always dissatisfied, always disgusted, and lacked recognition for a long time which would plant the seeds of inferiority in my heart, resulting in a negative self-evaluation.

Feeling that I am worthless, and do not have the confidence to do things. And it's very sensitive and fragile. Others will pay close attention to their eyes and tone of voice and they will repeatedly try to figure it out in their hearts. Did I do something wrong again? Are you bothering yourself? Get into the habit of self-denial and fall into the dark abyss step by step.

4. Habits For Fun

Children who lack love are very good at observing words and expressions because they also crave love. So that they will please their parents in every way when they are young.

They are very well behaved and discreet. They often put other people's emotions and needs first. Suppressing their true feelings, and not daring to boldly express their inner thoughts. For other people's requests, even if they are not willing to do so, they will not refuse, but bite the bullet, and feel very sorry and hurt afterward.

True love is a sense of security given by parents

A child who lacks love will have a difficult life. The inner sense of deprivation that childhood brings will create obstacles over time in their lives. Thus resulting in a painful price.

As a parent, who doesn't want their children to have a smooth and worry-free life? So that children do not lack affection, parents must first understand what true love is.

Love is a high-quality friendship. Parents' concern for their children is not limited to eating, drinking, and academic achievement. But also learn to accept his child's good and bad emotions, listen carefully to his inner voice, respect his child's thoughts. Spend more time with their children and increase mutual understanding.

Love is an unshakable affirmation. In dealing with your child's faults and shortcomings, don't be angry and blame, beat and scold your child if you feel that your inner expectations have not been fulfilled.

Every child has their own personality and developmental characteristics. Parents should take the initiative to find their children's bright spots and praise them from the bottom of their hearts.

When children face difficulties and setbacks. They must first cheer and encourage them and then tackle them together. Find a way to optimize and solve it.

Conclusion :

Parents should not continue to speak for the good of the child, but ignore the inner needs of the child. Ignoring true needs, limiting children, often criticizing and denying children, this is not true love, it will only turn into love. in danger and let the child's heart become barren and he has longed and searched for love all his life.

I hope every parent can learn how to love. I also hope that every child can be watered with love and grow up healthy and happy!

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